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Family is the most important parenting context during childhood. And, unsurprisingly, parenting patterns play a critical role in a child's development.
There are certain behaviors of parents that generate anxiety or fear in children. Knowing and identifying which are the main behaviors of parents, which can cause the little ones to worry too much, is the first step to help our children reduce their anxiety.
Therefore, below, we point out those parental attitudes that generate or exacerbate children's anxiety. We are going to talk about how overprotection and hyper-demand can negatively influence the emotional well-being of children.
Protecting children in an excessive and unnecessary way does not benefit the little ones, quite the opposite. When we overprotect our children we are preventing them from exploring and discovering the world around them for themselves. With the best intention of protecting them from this “dangerous and hostile world”, all we cause is that children acquire fears and insecurities. Overprotection generates anxiety in minors by making them inheritors of our fears and by instilling in them the false belief that the world in which we are immersed is threatening, dangerous and hostile.
In addition, each time we solve their problems, think, act or make decisions for them, they get smaller, their feeling of self-efficacy diminishes and their self-esteem diminishes. If we solve all their problems for them, when will they learn to solve them for themselves and to function without fear in the world?
When we overprotect children we are transmitting to them “you need me to be able to function in the world” and little by little the child internalizes the message of “I alone am not capable”.
Demanding our children too often leads to them becoming children with high levels of anxiety. Our children should and deserve to be happy but not perfect children. Children of very demanding parents want their parents to value them positively. For this reason, excessively demanding children are afraid of being wrong and feel very dissatisfied, ashamed, and guilty when they fail to meet their parents' expectations.
Pressure and excessive demands make it difficult for children to act spontaneously and freely. They do not want to disappoint their parents and are overly concerned with meeting their expectations, yet they forget to enjoy the things they do.
Wanting our children to always behave correctly, obtain excellent academic grades, do not comment on any lack of education, do not fight with other children or are always willing and happy to do everything we propose is simply… mission impossible!
Hyperactivity, like overprotection, does not encourage children to think, act and relate to the world freely and independently, but rather it is parents who impose their way of acting on children without taking into account their needs and interests.
The human being is imperfect, so demanding our children to be the best in everything they embark on is only going to promote that they are children who do not enjoy the present and who, on the contrary, worry excessively about what that others will comment on them, thus becoming anxious, insecure, low self-esteem and emotionally vulnerable people.
Our responsibility as parents is to raise autonomous, responsible, independent and of course happy children. We must stop carrying out any parenting guidelines that promote fear, dependency, and insecurity in children.
You can read more articles similar to Parents' attitudes that cause anxiety in children, in the category of Conduct on site.