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I'm going to confess something. For a long time I believed that you could not be a great mother and a great professional at the same time. That you could try to be more or less good in both fields but that success in both simultaneously would always be elusive.
Because, when circumstances forced me to put additional focus and energy on one of them, inevitably the precarious balance achieved was lost and the balance began to tilt towards one, leaving holes, unresolved issues, untold stories, events to be seen on the other side the ones I couldn't attend, friends I couldn't visit, projects I couldn't participate in. Can you be a good professional and a good mother at the same time?
Being a mother was always difficult, but today there is a social and cultural demand that makes us feel on the tightrope almost permanently. And in fact I think Family-labor conciliation is one of the great issues that, as a Western society, we still have to resolve.
Our generation had to reap the fruits of the women's revolution, without having yet planted the seeds of a social structure that would make it truly possible.
We continually talk about the problems of education, but we forget that the first socializing agent is the family. And that only children with better values that they bring from home can build a more just society.
That is why one day I understood that it is not only an individual problem but a collective one. Women should not face alone or among a few friends the anguish of not being able to accompany them in the adaptation to the garden or arriving home so exhausted that we do not have the strength to do homework with the children. It's not just about organizing ourselves better, being an octopus and having 8 arms or living juggling.
It is also a problem that goes beyond the private orbit. There are issues that concern us all as a society. Because it is not about achieving maximum efficiency in all roles but about changing the look.
Establish a vision of success that includes personal well-being, rather than acceptance and recognition from the outside. Knock down prejudices that we ourselves have been dragging without realizing. Because the more women we raise our voice in public, the more conciliation policies can be generated.
The more women occupying relevant positions in public and private environments, the better we will be able to demonstrate that conciliation is not an economic cost but rather tremendous social profitability.
Because a motivated woman can take care of her family and perform better at work, and because children who are better educated, contained, loved, nurtured physically and spiritually achieve a society with less violence, addictions and corruption.
We have to enter a virtuous circle where individual actions achieve collective reforms and those reforms help us so that individual actions are not so costly on an emotional level.
There is still a long way to go until schedule flexibility is accepted in most workplaces and that will only happen if we keep bringing it up. The conversations may be difficult, but the benefits will be many. We cannot change what we are not aware of, and once we are, we cannot help changing it.
Let us increasingly raise our voices so that working conditions do not force us to give up work in order to fulfill the role of mothers.
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