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Crying is the baby's first form of communication, it is his way of expressing disgust, discomfort, hunger, sleepiness or anger. It is not always easy for us to detect if he is crying from gas colic or because he is hungry, so we move into a trial and error space.
As the baby grows, he acquires other communication skills and no longer needs to cry to express that he is hungry, he simply asks. However, some children cry and scream to get anything they want or need. Why does the child ask for everything by screaming and crying and what can I do to solve it?
This week a mother told me desperately that her daughter was in that phase in which she was crying out for everything, she did not give in but her partner did. In fact, we witnessed about 6 episodes that same afternoon in which the girl tried to get away with using this method.
How many times have we suffered in our own flesh as our children screamed and cried because they wanted to get on that swing where another child was, they wanted a new toy or they insisted on carrying them despite the fact that their weight already prevents it.When the child asks for everything screaming and crying it is really irritating and desperate. It can even produce a looping effect and you find yourself yelling at it too: "Do you want to stop screaming and crying!"
When the child is no longer a baby and can communicate with an adult through speech, crying is usually a way to get your attention, to get what you want or even to express jealousy at the arrival of a brother. On many occasions, parents give in to this behavior so that the child stops screaming and thus avoid the embarrassing moment. But, is it the right thing to do? How to act if the child wants to achieve everything by screaming and crying?
- The first rule that experts give us is: do not give in to all your wishes, especially if the child asks for it incorrectly, because our message for him is that it is the way to proceed to get something. You will get used to asking for things that way, because it works for you.
- When the child asks us for something correctly, we must listen to him and attend to him, otherwise, he will go up to the next step to be heard: the screams and cries.
- When he is screaming and crying we must tell him that we do not understand him, "I can't hear what you want if you ask me like that, when you're calmer you explain it to me." You will think that it is very easy to say and difficult to do, however, it was one of the first tips that a psychologist friend gave me and yes ... it works!
- Analyze if we are paying adequate attention to our childPerhaps it is his way of expressing that he feels relegated to the arrival of a brother, if you spend the day looking at your cell phone more than him or if you do not dedicate enough time to him.
- Check if in your environment the grandparents, your partner or the caregiver responds to the child even though he screams for things and talk to them. It is important to agree on the line to follow.
- If you are on the street, in the pool or in the shopping center and the child asks you for something at the first change screaming and crying, hold the downpour. Do not give in to avoid the stares of others, or pay attention to whoever tells you to give them what they ask for so that they stop crying. Stay firm because it will be the way to teach your child to eradicate this attitude and to find other ways to communicate their wishes.
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